They’ve lost jobs and loved ones, but you’ve lost something, too. I get the sense that as much as your friends are grieving, you are, too. And your friends, no matter how great their grief, want these too. What I hear you craving is celebration and connection. I hear yearning in your letter-and not just for Instagram likes and the dopamine rush that comes with them. I totally understand why posting news that indicates your life is normal feels bizarre because, well, things certainly are not “normal” right now.īut that doesn’t mean we can’t make room for joy. For the past two months, they’ve also become spaces where people speak out against police violence and injustice and share resources for surviving unemployment, a pandemic, and a seemingly never-ending list of tragedies. Of course an Instagram or Facebook post feels crass! These are spaces where we curate our lives to look sunny and cheerful. I can understand why you’d be thinking more carefully about how you handle this topic right now, especially given your friends’ misfortunes. And what a heavy responsibility to become a parent in a world where everything feels so uncertain. What a joy to know that you are about to bring new life into the world. Is it in poor taste to announce my pregnancy on Instagram or Facebook when everything is so terrible? Is there a right time, or a right way, to do this?Ĭongratulations! What an exciting moment you are having in a very complicated and difficult time. What if my post comes across as insensitive? Or what if my friends smile to my face and act like they’re happy for me but suffer privately? And I do wish I could celebrate with my friends and even my acquaintances. Things are bad and don’t seem to be getting better anytime soon. I can’t argue with him when he says that. He counters that the time may never be right. I keep telling him, Let’s wait until the time is right. I’m just not sure I’m comfortable sharing this yet. He says our larger community will be happy for us, and that people need good news right now. My husband, on the other hand, can’t see a downside to sharing this news. I fear putting up an announcement that I’m a mom-to-be will make me seem tone-deaf or self-involved. We have been there for them, but I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for having things that they don’t, like a job and two living parents. Not only has 2020 been a total year from hell, but it has also hit our closest friends very hard. I’ve celebrated other milestones with announcements on Facebook and Instagram, and I would love to put together a big cheesy Instagram post, but in this climate, the very thought makes me feel guilty. If things were different (and there wasn’t a pandemic or daily protesting in the streets), I’d want to shout it from the rooftops. We’ve shared the good news with both of our parents over Zoom, but we’ve been holding off on telling our friends. My husband and I are expecting our first child.
#When should i announce my pregnancy how to#
“Swipe This!” is an advice column about how to navigate human relationships and connections in an age when we depend so heavily on technology.